Gaming as my Battleground and Safe Haven

I vividly remember my first real experience being exposed to the world of gaming when I was young. My father was playing Call of Duty in our living room, my mother telling me to stay in my room and not to watch because it was too violent. I snuck out and peeked at my dad playing, and I thought it seemed fun. He ended up catching me, and without my mother knowing, sitting me on his lap and letting me hold the controller.

That moment instilled a passion and love for the gaming industry. With over 3.09 billion active gamers worldwide and the community forever growing, many of us have experienced the joys of sitting down after a long day of work and have a game, taking the time to unwind with some Candy Crush, rejuvenating throughout quarantine binging Animal Crossing: New Horizons, or even getting into the competitive scene in Counter Strike: Global Offence.

I unfortunately also remember my first real experience facing misogyny gaming. I was 14, a regular player on a Minecraft server. My username included the word ‘lady’, pretty obviously alerting people to the fact that I was a girl. A stranger on the server had approached me, challenging me to a duel. I declined, honestly only wanting to start my farm and build a cottage in the woods, but he refused to leave me alone. He claimed that I was scared, I wouldn’t fight him because I was a girl. And so, I decided to fight him.

I lost miserably. I had never fought someone properly before, and he berated me harshly. He blamed it on the fact that I was a girl, rather than our difference in skill. He told me to “go back to the kitchen and make him a sandwich”, saying I clearly wasn’t good for anything else. I logged off the server and never logged back in.

Even today, I know that I can’t hop on a competitive game of VALORANT without being berated for missing shots, not killing an enemy in time, or making simple mistakes that wouldn’t be blinked twice at if had done by a man. It’s no wonder that we feel resistant to sharing our voice or gender online when 49% of female gamers have faced abuse when playing or streaming online, with that number rising to 75% in women aged 18-24.

This isn’t something I stand back and watch happen. I advocate for myself and other women online, and hope that one day the world of gaming will be a safe space for those of all genders. Stand up to misogyny.